My roommate died in the front hallway of the house, unsure how to feel
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I, had a break from class that I usually go home almost exactly when he was dying on our floor but I decided to go to best buy instead to grab some shit. He could still be alive if I had made one random decision differently. How the fuck do you deal with that? By taking comfort in knowing you never had a choice. You are pretending as if you could act on information that you did not have and that you know what the result would be. Sure, he could still be alive. Or you could have walked in and found him dead yourself. Or you could have walked in just in time to watch him die and be able to do nothing to save him. An undefined number of things could have happened if you had made a different decision. But you didn't and that is all you have to work with. You can never ever know what would have happened if you had made a different decision. There is no reason to blame yourself or regret. I'm sorry that that happened to you, but it's not your fault.
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I had a similar experience. Not with someone I knew personally or anything but back in 2000 I found the body of a guy hanging on a goal post in a public park. When I found him he was still swaying so it was pretty obvious it had only initially happened minutes prior. It has always fucked with me because instead of going there right away I stopped for coffee and cigarettes first. I used to wonder if I had gotten there sooner if I could have maybe done something but you come to realize (as some wise souls have stated here already) it truly is out of your control. Going through life wondering what you could have done differently isn't the answer and it certainly isn't going to bring your friend back. Best thing to do is honor the positive memories you do have and live the best life you can. If he was a good friend thats what he would want.
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Its not your fault the dude OD'ed don't worry about it. Anyone doing that many oxys is liable to fall over dead anytime.
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""This was someone else's decision." This is the best thing to remember when you go about living your life. Don't let the memory depress you. It is in the past. Learn from it. "
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"I lost my dad yesterday, and the "what ifs" have gone through my head a million times. He was also a drug user, one thing everyone reminds me is we cant feel like it is our fault for their choices on how they treated their bodies. You cant blame yourself for not being home when he died. You cant always save someone. "
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You could have gone somewhere else instead to buy shit and died in a car accident on the way there. In a world of your logic, yojimbo, you save your own life everyday.
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Think about it this way... had you stopped by the house today, you'd have found him and intervened. This time. You couldn't be around all the time, and chances are he'd have overdosed at some point while you weren't there, or sometime after he moved out of the house. Ultimately it was his decision to pop the pills, and he is responsible for the outcome. He killed himself, albeit accidentally. Not your fault, not your problem. It's sad, but there is no sense in feeling guilty.
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You know that time a month or two back when you decided to go home a little earlier instead of sticking around at class? No, you don't? Well, he actually would have overdosed then, but you came home early and he didn't. Thanks to you, he lived a month longer. No, I can't prove that, but you can't prove it didn't happen either - it may very well be that you prolonged his life unintentionally at some point as well. Don't beat yourself up for it - there's no way you could have known.
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"You also might have walked in minutes too late, or with just enough time for you to call 911 and for him to pass in the ambulance. Don't play "what ifs." What happened, happened, it's not your fault. Let your chance decision be the universe telling you, "hey, man, this might seem weird now, but I'm saving you some stress and panic" "
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Sure, you may have saved him that day... However, if he has 700 oxy tabs stashed in his room, his days were unfortunately numbered anyway.
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