My girlfriend doesn't want to take my last name. Any have advice/guidance?
REKLAM
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"I know you've talked to her about it, but maybe you should talk to her about it again. And when I say you should talk to her about it, I mean you shouldn't try to convince her of anything, you should just tell her how you feel and ask her how she really feels. I could be wrong, but considering you're "99%" sure your brother is gay, I'm thinking maybe your family doesn't communicate as well as it should, and maybe that's something that's been passed down to you too. At the end of the day, it's her decision, so I don't think you should think she's slighted you because she's not leaving it up to you. However, she should know exactly how you feel when she makes such a decision, and you should know exactly how she feels. If, at the end of the day, she still wants to keep her name, if you know where her feelings are coming from, you might feel better about it. "
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REKLAM
She isn't willing to compromise at all? I kept my maiden name as my middle name and took my husbands last name as mine. That way I keep a part of the old me, and get to officially be a new family with my husband too.
+10
Bildir
It's 2012 dude. If she agrees to hyphenate, that's what you'll have to agree to. Think about it, would YOU change YOUR last name to hers? Why not? Well that reaction you just had is probably your girlfriend's reaction to changing her name. Why should it be different?
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Think of it this way. You'll be dead and your name won't matter to you then.
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Ask to compromise by giving your children your last name. I don't want to lose my last name, so when I get my name changed, my middle name will become my maiden name. Another compromise.
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"First of all, your last name will not die with you. Don't you have cousins that have your last name? Also, she can name herself anything she wants, but your children's last name should be kept simple. You can say as a compromise, she keeps whatever last name she wants, but your kids would have your last name. If she balks, state that your kids should not have to suffer through writing "Jocob Johnson-Miller Leckelt" on every paper for the rest of their lives because it is cruel and unusual, plus they will be teased incessantly from their classmates. Also, you can offer let her decide the kids' middle name, you decide the last name, and you work together on the first name. "
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her (for example purposes) Ruth Elise Johnson-Millereckelt L. Has she considered Ruth Elise Miller-Leckelt? I'm of the thought that the hyphenated names is getting silly, not to mention causing havoc with computer systems.
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With my first marriage I did the same and hyphenated it. My kid has his dad's last name, it wasn't even a question at the time. Looking at it from the point of you being the last male descendant of your name, I can't see where she would argue any potential children carrying it on
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The compromise is fine. Most people I know have hyphenated or simply kept their last names. Don't worry about 'carrying on' your name. Names don't matter. Actions matter.
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