What would you include in a modern-day survival guide?

With the way things are going, I'd like to create a modern-day survival guide for my kids. It'll either come in handy, or be an ironic joke (please be an ironic joke). I'm looking for practical information to include, like when to plant certain vegetables, how to stitch a cut, how to tell time by the sun, what plants are edible, the best way to avoid heat stroke, etc.