People. Why is it that the death of a stranger can sometimes affect you more than that of a family member?
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"Sometimes, it's the indirect relationship - I think they call them parasocial relationships? - like what you get with a movie star. You feel like you "know" them, even though they have no idea you exist. Sometimes, that stranger represents more than you realize. My late dad was a *huge* Beatles fan. I wasn't alive when Lennon died, but I was alive when George Harrison died. My dad just sobbed and sobbed. The Beatles for him had represented youth, rebellion, creativity, hopes and promises for the future. They had been his reprieve from an abusive upbringing (his mom later did grab at least one of his Beatles records to burn after John Lennon's statements about Jesus Christ). My dad was a musician too - and he really looked up to them. I didn't understand it. He told me, "You don't understand what it's like to see one of your heroes die." He wasn't the closest to some of his family, so it was understandable why he grieved more for a man who never knew he existed. "
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REKLAM
Having not spoken to my extended family in over 20 years, they are no more than strangers at this point.
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Strangers don't hurt you. You have an idealized idea of them. Family members can be assholes.
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"Because I had a more close relationship with that stranger (who didn't know me) like I have listened to Linkin Park since my childhood I even remember seeing the music video "in the end" on TV so when Chester Bennington died it hit hard and also Michael Jackson I will always see him as the purest human ever and I loved his music since childhood too and always thought I one day could come to one of his concerts. So basically it's just these people had more impact in my life than the relatives I only saw occasionally some even month or a year apart while I had listened to these singers almost every day and I have fond memories of them I also remember listening to Numb when I was Goth so these songs had an inpact in every part of my life while the family members didn't. "
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For me, that's a matter of how they passed and if I saw it. Or how it affected those who did know them. A grandparent passing of old age is sad, but normal and not an unusual event. However, hearing the girl who you saw all the time hanging with your friends swallowed a bunch of pills and killed herself can frick you up pretty bad. Especially if she was the blubbliest of the group.
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Ixolich gave a great answer (upvoted), there is at least one additional element. With people you are close to, you know all of their faults and foibles (or at least what you perceive to be their faults). With celebs that doesn't apply. You have an idealized view of who they are, so you perceive their loss without moderation.
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I don't speak for anyone else, but I am a longtime victim of incestuous rape (half brother for 11 or so years), physical and verbal abuse (father), negligence (brother and mother) and all that fun family stuff. Relatives mostly ignored everything. Family fell apart when I was sixteen and even further when good ole daddy abandoned his wife of thirty years for his brother's ex wife. Through all this time (32 now) I only had celebrities in writing, television, and videogames to get me through hard times, so when one of them dies, it hits home harder.
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Because the one thing I remember from my father's father was him hitting my mom?
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