What's the most hilarious/inappropriate thing you've ever seen a child do? I'll start.
REKLAM
Cevaplar
Several years ago I was standing in line at Thrifty drug store (should give you an idea of how long ago this was) and I heard a scuffling behind me. I turned around and a kid about maybe 7 had come running down the aisle directly behind me and shuffled to a stop. I watched as he stood there stamping one of his feet on the ground, sort of shaking his leg around as he did it. Eventually a turd plopped out of the bottom of his pants leg (he was wearing blue jeans), and it was followed by a few smaller blobs of shit and a few brown drips. Lastly, he stood perfectly still and a rivulet of bright yellow streamed out the bottom of his one pant leg, just as neatly as if he had a tube running all the way down his leg. Immediately after this, he shook his leg a couple of times for good measure, turned on his heel and ran as fast as he could back down the aisle in the opposite direction. I have yet to see anything this astounding in public since. And I've been to San Francisco.
REKLAM
"First day as a nanny to a 12 year old girl with fetal alcohol syndrome (adopted by her folks at age 2 from a Russian orphanage). I'd say she's at about a 1st grade reading level, very friendly, very conversational, a little goofy. I'm driving the minivan, she's in the back, when she asks: "Hey, Mr_Tibbs, Mommy and Daddy can't have babies on their own, right? That's why they adopted me, right? They can't make babies?" "Yup, they adopted you." "So... why are they still TRYING to make babies?" Awkward robot ensues. "
"My 3 year old son, in the back seat of the car while we were stopped at a crossing: "Those fucks need to get out of the way" Me and my partner looked at each other with shock, and it dawned on me... He meant to say "those folks..." "
"I was 16 and was babysitting a girl who was maybe 6 and her brother who was 2 or 3. We had some music on and were dancing around and the girl says to me, "you know what's funny!! When my daddy dances his penis flops all over the place!!" Yeah, I'm not sure when is the best time to stop dancing naked in the house, but maybe when your kids can start saying stuff like that to the babysitter... "
"When I was in primary (elementary) school, sitting cross-legged on the floor listening to the teacher read, my friend pulled his tiny, yet raging boner out through his shorts leg and said look at this! I remember saying "show it to Jodi!" (she was the hottest seven year old in the class). He refused... pussy. "
"When my son was 3, we were in the car with the realtor on the way to get the water in our new house turned on for the inspection. There was a lull in the conversation and all the sudden my son pipes up from the back of the car: "My penis is SO big right now!" and the realtor about drives off the road, he was laughing so hard. He had a 2 year old son so he knew all about it so it wasn't too awkward. "
"At a big fish hatchery on the river watching a couple fish through a glass window trying to swim upstream. As one of the fish fall behind my 7 year old sister shouts, "COME ON YOU PUSSY!" We were the only family laughing.... "
"my sister once stuck her hand up my mom's shorts in a bakery and said very loudly, "mommy, you're not wearing any underwear". my mom of course, embarrassed, laughed nervously and told her she was wrong. My sister was undeterred and kept insisting that she didnt have any on until we were forced to leave. Another time she got up and stood on the pew during mass while everyone was praying and sang, "take me out to the ball game" at the top of her lungs and did so until my dad carried her out the door. most entertaining mass EVER "
"At the airport with my Pops when I was a wee lad: A man wearing a turban was walking towards us and I tug on my Dad's pants and say, "Look Dad, a snake charmer!" My Dad starts cracking up and pulls me out of there before I say something else. "
I was at my girlfriend's house, and her 5-year old brother runs down the hall to the living room where we were sitting and watching a movie. He had just come out of the shower so he was completely naked, so he takes their geriatric jack russel terrier, prying open its jaws and puts his penis inside its mouth, all while laughing like a fucking maniac. Children are interesting in that they still have that atavistic kind of cognition where sticking your penis in a dog's mouth is fine.
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