I moved into a new house and have just realised that the ventilation system allows everyone to hear what goes on in my room. Which has, up to now, mainly been lots of masturbation. How do I laugh this one off?
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"Slowly introduce a "camouflage" sound that is similar to your previous masturbation sounds. For instance, maybe a little wash basin you use to clean your room. Also, take on a nervous tic which precedes your sneezing, like "ah ah ah ah ahchoo!" Then make sure you publicly perform your wash basin cleaning in the kitchen, accompanied by some more "sneezing sounds" at the dinner table. Guess what? It will be your friends blushing now as they realize your sounds were perfectly non-sexy all the time, moreso considering half of them were probably masturbating to those sounds to begin with! "
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REKLAM
"Put 1" thick somewhat porous square of foam right inside vent cover, masturbate, profit. If questions are asked, which I doubt they will be, go with the truth. "BITCH I MASTURBATE LOTS, DEAL WITH IT". "
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""rather noisy vagina" Thanks for creating my phrase of the week. "
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Are you attractive? This is a very important consideration.
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"Thought OP was a dude until "noisy vagina." Went from funny to hot in that one second. "
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"It makes it way funnier that you are a girl. Never expected it when I read the title. Also, "I have a rather noisy vagina" is now one of my favorite quotes. edit: tense "
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Day 1) You moan their names as you masturbate. Day 2) You talk to them right before you masturbate, smiling and givin' 'em teh sex eye. Just the one. Day 3) Begin to masturbate. Take a break, go out in the common area of the house and ask if they're busy. Day 4) Bang your roommate(s). Day 5) Be cool with roommate sex or move out. Problem solved. Also, I've got a spare room if you need it.
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and I have a rather noisy vagina Well. I've had my internet for the day!
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It would really cool if you would post self-pic (identity hidden of course) to go along with this post. Purely for scientifc reasons.
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"Upvoted for "noisy vagina". If you can manage it just be proud, masturbation is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. "
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