People with bipolar disorder, how does it affect your life on a weekly basis?

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Clara adlı üyenin sorusuna 6 kişi cevap verdi.

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Weekly, no much. My cycle is approx 12-18 months, Mania, then depression, then normal in about equal portions. In manic phase I can't sleep, no appetite, can't concentrate, I hear voices and have visual hallucinations, i get lots of work done, spend all my money, and normally alienate some or all of my friends. Then the mania fades, you have spent all your money, lost your friends, been unreliable at work, and then the soul crushing depression starts. You have genuine reasons to be unhappy now, plus you have a chemical imbalance in your brain telling you to kill yourself. All in all its not super fun, it's like playing the game of life on hard mode. Having said that I'm now in my 40s and now have got better at dealing with the swings.
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on a day to day basis it doesn't seem as bad as you might think. If you have a network that still really appreciates your strengths, and wants to support you, it's actually gratifying being the center of attention and having people attend to you due to your challenges. The issue is that as time goes on, while people are supportive about you having your issues, that might morph into yourself and others ACCEPTING your issues. That's a problem.
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I have to take my lithium at 9pm. 9:43pm I get hit with nausea until 12:06am. It's literally exactly those times every day. I spend this time trying to not puke before my tablets are absorbed. I also have to sit on the toilet to avoid shitting myself. As long as I take my meds I'm completely normal mentally. If I don't and get manic then I'll hook up with 2 or 3 women a day on Tinder, take drugs and also get violent if I drink. Or crash into depression and only get of bed to go toilet for months. Wish I knew how manic me does so well on dating sites. I'm terrible when I'm normal.
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Now that I'm on the right meds and worked through a lot of my shit it really doesn't
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Meds are the hardest part. It's so difficult to get the right meds, I've been on and off different meds since I was 15. I'm now 28. The meds either do fuck all, or they make you a zombie. That's the worst for me, I cannot deal with feeling like a zombie and I now use weed as a way to manage my symptoms. Really calms me down, but there are negatives. Such as not being able to go out for a drive, or get out in the car. (No way in hell am I risking my licence) Oh and then the mood swings. The random split second change in mood, from happy to wanting to slit my throat in seconds. I fucking hate having bipolar. I have absolutely NOTHING to look forward to in life. Fuck. Now I'm crying as I type this.
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I think I'm undiagnosed but manic. I don't fluctuate all the time but it is very intense when I do. I really dont want to be medicated daily, what are some steps that can help before medication?
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