Hey,. I'm at the lowest point in my life and I need to claw out of this situation. How can I effectively accomplish this? (Long Story)
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Well you have a place to live so that's a start. Sounds like you just need a plan. Find a job. Any job. Fast food, janitorial, day labor, temp agency, doesn't matter right now. Multiple jobs would be best. Save your money. Don't spend anything you don't absolutely have to. If you have more than one job this will help as you will do nothing but work and sleep. Give all your money to your dad to hold if you trust him or put it directly into savings. Stay healthy. Avoid anything that could make you sick or injure you. Health care costs will wipe you out. Don't dwell on your education right now. There will be time for that once you have money in the bank. After 6 months to a year you will be stable enough to work just 1 job and use the rest of your time for education. After that, it's cake. Getting through it will be tough and solely based on your will to succeed. Sorry, that's all I can offer you.
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Maturity consists of dealing with the consequences of your behavior, both past and present, without trying to pass the blame to others. Responsibility consists of following through on the promises that you make about your future behavior, without trying to pass the effort to others. Sounds like you're ready to be the mature, responsible, person you know how to be, so go and DO IT. So you made some mistakes. Mistakes are not failures, they are part of life. The only real failure is not learning from your mistakes.
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I'm surprised your wife is sticking with you. At least you have that.
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Sounds like you're taking accountability for your actions, which is good... now get yourself a job. If you're in NYC, be out there EVERY DAY. Post online, go in person, and be tenacious. Right now, you need a JOB more than anything. Re: your near future goals -- You need to focus on #1, #2, and #3. College is good, but you're not there until you've secured the first three. While you're out job hunting, also try to find some counseling. You are very self-deprecating and, as you & others have mentioned, seem to want to sabotage your own efforts. Others will help you, you just need to ask. And you DO deserve help getting back on your feet. Best of luck, sir.
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Actually it doesn't seem like you need any help at all. It looks like you understand your situation and have some form of plan and the drive to carry it out. Give yourself some credit OP, keep working hard and get back to your family. You got this. People have been in much worse spots than this and made it out.
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Hmmm, summary: you fucked your life, and now you realize what you've done to yourself. Good luck getting out of the hole you dug.
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""What I do need is information, where to find it, and how to find it, and whom to speak to." You need none of this. You are holding your family hostage because you don't see the roadsigns of your life. Show up to work on time. Go to sleep on time. Stop being a bitch. "
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You're a parent now, and that requires two things. Put on your man pants and do your damn job. It isn't about you anymore. Everything you do should be to create a better life for your child. Grow up and set an example. College is a fine goal, if you have substantial savings to get you through the next emergency. Until then, go to work.
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As a married father myself who used to have similar issues I'll tell you the one thing that got me out of my funk. Man the fuck up. Quit being a pussy about life, get out there and do what you know you need to do. Take care of your family first. Quit being a selfish prick. I'm not trying to insult you, this is the attitude I took w/ my inner self.
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