You're walking in the woods. There's no one around and your phone is dead. Out of the corner of your eye you spot him, Shia LaBeouf. What is you next move?

I break into a sprint while simultaneously pulling out my trusty swiss army knife and begin to saw through my left pinky. Once i get through the bone I just rip the rest off, this all happens within the first 54 seconds of seeing Shia. I then collapse to the ground and go limp, playing opossum. Shia runs up on all fours and starts sniffing my body. When he gets to my hand I stab him in both eyes and shove my bloody severed pinky into his mouth before jumping up and running again. Hes temporarily blinded enough for me to make my escape while also having his insatiable appetite for flesh satisfied so he no longer follows.