what are some of your favorite monologues?
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"Inspires me every time: Stanley Spadowski in Weird Al's UHF, played by Michael Richards. "This's my new mop. George, my friend, he gave me this mop. It's a pretty good mop. It's not as good as my first mop, I miss my first mop. But, this is still a good mop. Sometimes you just hafta take what life gives you. 'Cause life is like a mop, and sometimes life gets full of dirt and crud and bugs and hairballs and stuff. Well, you, you gotta clean it out! You gotta put it in here and rinse it off and start all over again. And sometimes life sticks to the floor so bad that a mop is not good enough, a mop isn't good enough. You gotta get down there with a, with a toothbrush ya know! You gotta scrub, you gotta get it all off, you gotta really try to get it all off. And if that doesn't work, you can't give up! You gotta stand right up, run to the window and say: "Hey! The floors are dirty as hell, and I'm not gonna take this anymore!!" "
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"Never, Marge! Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors -- oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?" "
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-Jesse: What happens now? I'll tell you... what happens now. Your scumbag brother-in-law... is finished. Done. You understand? I will own him... when this is over. Every cent he earns, every cent his wife earns... is mine. Any place he goes, anywhere he turns... I'm gonna be there, grabbing my share. He'll be scrubbing toilets in Tijuana... for pennies... and I'll be standing over... to get my cut. He'll see me when he wakes up in the morning, and when he crawls to sleep in whatever rat hole's left for him after I shred his house down. I will haunt his crusty ass... forever... until the day... he sticks a gun up his mouth, and pulls the trigger... just to get me out of his head. That's... what happens... next.
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"Charlie Chaplin's "Look Up" speech from The Great Dictator (Video). Transcript here. "
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Mal: This report is maybe 12 years old. Parliament buried it, and it stayed buried till River dug it up. This is what they feared she knew. And they were right to fear because there's a whole universe of folk who are gonna know it, too. They're gonna see it. Somebody has to speak for these people. You all got on this boat for different reasons but you all come to the same place. So now I'm asking more of you than I have before. Maybe all. 'Cause sure as I know anything, I know this, they will try again. Maybe on another world, maybe on this very ground, swept clean. A year from now, ten, they'll swing back to the belief that they can make people ... better. And I do not hold to that. So no more running. I aim to misbehave. --Serenity
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"Patrick Stewart's "Tomorrow" monologue from Macbeth. EDIT: His specifically because I love the way he acted it. "
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"The opening of "Patton." But I don't know where you're gonna find the ten-foot-high American flag. With 48 stars getting a 50-star flag is a rookie mistake, and you really hate to see those. "
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