Parents of kids that did not succeed as adults (jail, drugs, etc): how do you feel about a decision and experience of being a parent?

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patrycja Öğrenci Siirt 1 yıl önce

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Parents of kids that did not succeed as adults (jail, drugs, etc): how do you feel about a decision and experience of being a parent?

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shagufta Öğrenci Sakarya · 1 yıl önce

My adult son lives with what is now called Autism Spectrum Disorder, ASD I guess. He was previously Asperger's with Opponsitional Defiance Disorder. I think my son is succeeding in spite of what most may think. He has maintained his independence in the past few years. He has been adamant in this, even living in his car this past summer. This has been his choice, now he has found a decent place to live, where he wants to live. He has reached out more lately, and that's good.

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delila Öğrenci Yalova · 1 yıl önce

"As a kid I had a "friend" (we werent that close, but our parents were friends) who grew up in an almost identical family as mine. After high school I got incredibly lucky to find a great job, and he ended up with a classic 'fell in with a bad crowd' situation and he plus two others robbed a place and wounded a person. So at 18 he was sentence to 30 years in prison despite being his first offence. Halfway through his sentence I started e-mailing him, and we have actually become very good friends. One of the things we talk about is his parents, namely his mother. She feels a massive amount of guilt for his situation, and blames herself. She tries to do as much as she can for him (she paid for him to do correspondence to get a degree while in prison), but she also finds it very hard to actually visit him or talk to him in person because of the guilt. "

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berinay Öğrenci Bingöl · 1 yıl önce

"You might be interested in the book "A Mother's Reckoning" by Sue Klebold, mother of Columbine killer Dylan Klebold. Or Andrew Solomon's book "Far From the Tree" "

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seea Öğrenci Ardahan · 1 yıl önce

"I'm not a "success" by any means, and my dad has even told me I failed him as a son. I highly doubt he blames himself and his parenting though. There's no way constantly putting me down, berating me, one upping me and telling me I'll never be shit could have possibly had any negative effect on my growth. "

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walden Öğrenci Bilecik · 1 yıl önce

A certain amount of parenting is a crap shoot regarding environmental circumstances, a kid's temperament, biological proclivities, etc. Another amount of parenting is good decisions like providing love and structure. No one knows the magic formula between the two, and anyone who says they do is an arrogant prick.

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latanya Öğrenci Kırklareli · 1 yıl önce

ITT: People misreading the question.

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vivianne Öğrenci Manisa · 1 yıl önce

My daughter is an alcoholic. She is turning 24 soon. I honestly don't know how long she has been drinking. She barely made it through high school, but did go on to college, only to drop out. She's been homeless several times. Her father and I blame ourselves, and then again, we can't figure out where we went wrong. We worked hard to provide for our family, they never wanted for anything. We were also there emotionally for them. My daughter and I had a kind of rocky relationship because we have similar personalities. My other two kids think that we bent over backwards for her and gave in too much. But, she would just play us. They didn't see the manipulation.

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duangkamon Gelişen Rize · 1 yıl önce

As a person who has 3 kids all under 4, this is one of my biggest fears. Edit : oh and prostitution

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marianagel Öğrenci Kocaeli · 1 yıl önce

In retrospect, I can see where I could have done things differently in some instances of my parenting decisions and it might have influenced circumstances for the better. That being said, I can also honestly say that even with things as they are, I enjoy being a parent. My children are in their mid to late 20s and their behavioral patterns are pretty well set, but I still have hope that they will find their way to happier, more fulfilling lives. I never loved anyone with my entire being before I had my first child and I hope that I have conveyed that capacity to them.

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forster Gelişen Muğla · 1 yıl önce · Accepted Answer

My brother is a heroin addict. He has been an addict for about 6-7 years and is apparently on methadone now, but who knows. As you would expect, he is a liar, a thief and a shitty person due to his addiction. My mother says she hasn't slept properly in 6-7 years and every time the phone rings, she considers if it is the call telling her he's dead or in jail. She is a ball of anxiety and suffers from high blood pressure and binge-eating as a coping mechanism. She is not the same person that she once was. She feels extreme guilt that she could have done more or been a better parent to prevent this from happening (he has told her it's all her fault). My mother is a wonderful parent and could not have done anything differently. I'm currently expecting my first child in July and this experience has definitely scared me. Sometimes people just turn out so differently from what you expect, and there's nothing you can do about it.