27M. I know a lot of people but feel lonely a lot. How do I stop making acquaintances and start making friends?
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I think most people have few, if any, friends. I've noticed this among college students. I think the problem stems from two things. Firstly, you need to know yourself. This is extremely hard to grasp for most as they assume they know what that means to a fault. Don't lie to yourself, don't let yourself be a loser or live a lifestyle of mediocrity. Second, you need to have a drive or purpose. Standing for something and making it a reality, something bigger than being a corporate shill. Find those who align themselves with similar ideas and know themselves and you will find yourself people you will love and form lasting bonds with. Most people won't make the cut, that is fine.
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Do you initiate meeting up with people? If no, why not? Many people would be happy to hear someone likes them so much that person wants to chill with them. Not everyone will want to hang out, but 1% of 1500 Facebook friends is 15 people, right? That's a good starting goal, yeah? You can do it!
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"Thank you for the ideas! Let's say I did start spending a weekend here or there with some of the same people. Is the answer to "how do we become good friends" just time? This may sound like a simple and obvious thing but after enough time feeling this way, sometimes I wonder if there are simple things I am doing wrong. "
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on Facebook with 1500 friends, 50 likes per status, and no plans on the weekend Find a park with grills. Buy 25 to 50 lbs of some kind of meat. Create an event for a bbq. Send invite to 1500 people. (Only like 50 to 100 might show.)
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You should just take a few people who like similar things as you and you enjoy being around and focus on hanging out with them and being nice and helpful to them.
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I took up SCUBA with the hopes of at least forming a strong buddy-pair for diving. Out of cash (no spare for dives) and university's SCUBA club no more than wishful thinking, that plan did not work out as well as I'd hoped. On the bright side, diving is fun.
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23F I have the same problem. At least for me, cooking with people seems to help bridge the gap. Inviting someone over to have a few drinks while you grill at your place is more intimate than going out and really gives you a chance to talk.
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"Do you have siblings who can help? I found hanging out with my brother helped a lot in public settings. Also, look up things that your town offers. I just found out that there's a Scabble club for my city which I plan on joining. Maybe you could go to events like this and then afterwards go up to two people and be like "hey, wanna grab a beer afterwards?" and soon you'll be bbq'in it up for football games. "
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