ors who have cut off ties with their family: why did you do it and how do you feel about it now?

Its been over 10 years since I have spoken to my mother (my choice). And about 12 years with her side of the family (their choice). I left home at 17 as soon as I was able to get a car. That part of my family is part of a fundamentals cult. They don't associate with people outside of the church. My mom was Hella abusive. And I stopped letting her scream at me over the phone. Its still hard to this day, and I think about it all the time. I do know that I need to forgive her before she dies I just dont know if I can face her without becoming violent.