My room mate burned his hand at his work on a stove, and poured bleach on it ""like in Fight Club, to neutralize the burn."". What things have you/your friends done that made you question your/their thought processes?
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My uncle owns this thread. I don't even know where to start. He was once using a blowtorch to remove paint from his kitchen wall and set fire to the insulation and the whole apartment block had to be evacuated. Another time he was removing hot ashes from his fire and putting them in a plastic bucket, the bottom fell out of it as he was carrying it outside and ruined the carpet in his living room. Another time he leant his motorbike up against a window to clean it and it fell straight through the window, a few weeks later he was cleaning the windows (after replacing the one he'd broken) and tried to throw the remaining water from the jug onto the window, the jug broke at the handle and went straight through the window. Finally, my personal favourite, he bought a really cheap bike from someone, intending fix it up, he leant it against one of the walls on the outside of his house and spray painted it, when he moved the bike there was an outline of the bike left painted on th
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My friend was once taken to the ER because he tried eating an orange, whole.
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"I was out for a walk with one of my friends once and the moon was up in the day time. In all seriousness he turns to me and says: "I always get a bit scared when the moons up during the day. I'm really paranoid that its going to crash into the sun." Fuck me twice and call me Sally. I didn't even know where to begin with that one, so i just nodded and smiled. "
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"It was my second time in a mixed martial arts tournament and I was in a single-loss elimination circuit. I won my first match. My second opponent had 4" height and about 40 lbs weight over me. About 25 seconds into the first round we got into a clench. I went for a shoulder throw a split second after he went for a hip throw. I landed on my left shoulder which wasn't too bad, but my opponent landed on my right shoulder. The additional pressure popped my left shoulder clean out of the socket. We got up and I realized I couldn't fully raise my left arm, so of course I forfeit the match. No, of course not. I'm a guy. We don't do that sort of thing. I got back on the line and fought the rest of the two minute match, with my left arm hanging mostly useless at my side. I lost by two points. I left the ring, walked about five steps outside the ring, and my shoulder slid back into place all by itself. TL DR: Dislocated my shoulder, decided to continue fighting. "
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"When I was little I thought the microwave could also be used to cool things down. One day I heated a glass of milk and it came out too hot, my thought process was "If I put less time it'll make it colder" Needless to say it was a milk eruption inside the microwave "
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"During a heated game of Scrabble with my wife she triple word scored with the word "these." My brain forgot it was a word and made me yell, "What the fuck is Thee-see?" "
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"A friend I go to college with told me she wasn't looking forward to getting pregnant someday because "It's like 9 months where you can't masturbate!". I asked what she meant and she explained that you couldn't stick anything up there while pregnant because you might "accidentally abort" the baby. The kicker: she just declared biology as a major. "
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I worked selling cars for a used car.dealer for a few.years and had made friends with one of the mechanics. I walk into the lower part of the garage while smoking a cigarrete and immediately smell a lot of brake cleaner and see his crappy 87 BMW up on the lift and he was cleaning all the grease from under the car with brake cleaner resulting in a puddle just as large under his car. I turn right around and say I don't need to be smoking here, then he says that this special brake cleaner is not flammable and makes a small puddle a few feet from the ground puddle...then lights it...igniting the vapor causing the puddle and his car to light up. I freak out run for the back door to find the handle is broken as this is happening another tech across the garage grabs a fire extinguisher and puts it out. Then my buddy begins to blame me saying the cigarrette lit the fire, that was straightened out real quick and he was fired on the spot. He's not my buddy anymore.
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"When my friend was cleaning the carburetor on his 3 Wheeler he just bought, and was leaking gasoline on the driveway. I seemed to suddenly be concerned about it staining the driveway and I felt the best way to stop that would be to light the gas on fire. So I lit the small puddle saying "I don't want it to stain" which then caused the entire 3 Wheeler to erupt in flames, him kicking the gas tank off it into my yard, catching the yard on fire, me scrambling for the hose and a whole lot of cussing. Good times "
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