What's the dumbest thing you've done because your brain was on autopilot?
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Friend came over to meet up at my house before we went out. Before we were about to leave, I guess he thought he smelled a bit so he asked if I had any Axe body spray (this was back in high school so reserve your judgement a little bit please). While I was waiting for him to finish up, I was playing around with a lighter and walked in the bathroom to ask if he was done. He was engulfing himself in a cloud of Axe and I flicked the lighter on without thinking. His whole body went up in flames and he leaped into the bathtub screaming bloody murder. The flames were gone as quick as they had arrived and the only thing that remained was the smell of burnt hair. He still doesn't grow armpit hair to this day. I'm not a psychotic murderer, I swear.
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Obligatory not me, but I remember a story on here about how someone put butter in a cage and the pet rat in the refrigerator. It was 10-15 minutes before they had realized their mistake, but the rat had already reached the promised land and was very stubborn about having to leave a pack of ham behind.
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Got out of the shower, dried off, grabbed my comb, grabbed the toothpaste, applied toothpaste to comb, and paused... I only stopped because for a few seconds I legitimately did not know if I was supposed to brush my teeth or comb my hair. I knew I should do one or the other, but I also knew I couldn't do both with what I had in my hand. So I just stood there looking at my comb with a glob of toothpaste spread across it. Then I looked in the mirror and wondered if I was still dreaming. Then I snapped out of it, had a good chuckle, rinsed off my comb, and got on with my routine as normal.
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Folded a shirt for about thirty minutes while zoned out having a partial seizure. Good times.
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Had a big cup full of drink that I tried to put on a shelf. There wasn't enough space between shelves for the huge cup to fit, so I turned it sideways dumping probably 1/4 of a bottle of bacardi and a bunch of diet coke all over the shelf and the floor, but I got the cup to fit.
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A drunk younger me tried to get into my girlfriend's parent's bed. The mum woke up as I pulled the covers back. Hubby remained asleep. The mum was very good and gently took my throbbing hand which I'd injured at work and guided me back to her daughter.
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Started a new job several years ago and one morning I drove to my old office. I was on my way into the building when I realized what I did.
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This just happened yesterday.... I was hurrying to make a shake (spinach, berries, banana, avocado, peanut butter, oats and protein powder) and for some reason I thought the HUGE tub of protein powder was my cup. I managed to avoid the disaster as I started pouring but holy shit I felt really dumb.
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I made two pieces of toast and lost one of them. I still have no idea where it is.
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