Bar staff, have you ever had a man use the ""safeword drink"" escape, and how often does it happen?
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"If a security guy counts as bar staff..... Was in a night club, working instead of a friend who had an exams next day. I took his two shifts since i had whole week free. There was a date where the guy was definietly afraid of a girl. Asked for permission to "engage" and decided to calm two down. I took the man to our security booth where you have camera control, who was literally shaking out of fear. I had him calm down, paid for cold soda myself and gave one to the guy and i drank one myself (instead of cigarretes - i hate smoking). After it, and nice talk (turned out he was a buisnessman) i called him a taxi. Wanted to give me equivalent of 300 dollars.... I said "no its my job" but he insisted... damn its alot when you paychech equals 800USDs. Taxi arrived and took that guy to his home. He thank me once again and gave me his number. Sadly i dont have it anymore. But still nice thing to happen. And just in case: it happened in Poland. "
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"Only had one incident of a man using Ask For Angela (UK safeword scheme). Gay kid on a bad date. His date had been extremely overbearing and even having to witness it from the bar was extremely uncomfortable. We smuggled him into the kitchen and out the side door while his date went to the bathroom and called him a taxi. Date came back from the bathroom, asked where the kid was, I just went "dunno". Date started getting aggro with me, so supervisor ended up throwing this guy out by the collar. It honestly doesn't get used enough, by either men or women, especially here in the UK. It absolutely sucks, especially when you as a bartender can't really legally do much or you risk not only your job, but the bar's reputation. Edit: Just for clarification, the victim was 19. Legal age of drinking alcohol in UK is 18. So yes, he is still technically a kid. "
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Yes several times at the student bar I ran. Unfortunately/fortunately they were all as a joke and people regularly ripped down the posters in the men's toilet.
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Am a bouncer, had a regular dude meeting a tinder date. She was pretty hot and I gave him a thumbs up. She was very polite and nice, 2 drinks later she became an utter bitch. I walked up to him to see how it was going and he explained while she was in the toilet how much a of a bitch she was being to everyone. He came up to me, said how good the whisky was he just had and I knew straight away (he's a beer man through and through) he wanted to bail. I asked him if he would stay if he didn't meet her, he nodded. So I kicked the girl out and told her she was too drunk. He met his girlfriend of now 3 years 2 hours later after I kicked her out.
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"Not a "safeword drink" story, exactly. But I had a woman pass me a bar napkin with "911" written on it. She was in her mid 30s and Eastern European. She was alone and not visibly upset. I asked her a few questions, trying to figure out what kind of help she needed. But she didn't speak English. I ended up calling my manager and the police. Turns out she was a victim of human trafficking who had somehow escaped. "
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Doesn't get used enough here. Only twice has someone 'Asked for Angela' to me. One was a guy who was pissed and saw a sign near the toilets, he decided to basically pretend and take the mickey, much to his equally drunk mates amusement. The other time was a woman out with who I assume was her partner. Not drunk, but absolutely furious about something. I saw her screaming at her partner and he just looked sheepish. She storms over to ask for Angela, and I was a bit confused. The bar was closer to the door than the dancefloor she just left her partner at, if she walked ten more steps she would have been outside. The bouncer escorted her outside just in case but still don't know why she didn't just leave, the guy was close to tears and sat down.
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"Okay, I'm not a bartender, but one time I was in a club with a couple of friends and an acquaintance see's me walk by while she's with an older guy and signals me to come over. I come over she says hi, and mouths "help me" I didn't realize so I leaned in and she said it in my ear. She politely introduced me to the guy then asked me if I wanted to dance. So obviously i said yes. As we walked off the guy said something and asked where we were going. We just kept walking. We danced for a couple songs then went our separate ways. "
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"In our bathrooms, there's an option to ask for "Angela" at the bar however these posters are only up in the women's bathrooms. This has backfired on me once in the past because I found a guy in a situation he probably didn't want to be in. I was doing a walk through, collecting glasses (we don't have barbacks in the club I work in) and keeping an eye on things. I noticed this group sat down, one girl with her shoes off all over this guy who was staring forward and tense. Clearly uncomfortable. She was very drunk so I managed to ask if he was okay without her noticing, he shook his head, I radioed for a bouncer and she was removed from the venue. Even if someone is unaware of the safe word or knows that the person they're trying to get away from knows the safeword, most bartenders and bouncers will try and keep an eye on people and make sure everyone is having a good time. "
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There was a really good thread similar to this a while back. Here's one good answer: I've experienced the bartender hero before. Out with a friend in DC. Guy comes up, stands way too close, introduces himself and shakes my hand WAY to hard and WAY too long - i had to actually pull my hand away and he kept the grip. I politely told him i was visiting a friend I hadn't seen in a while and wanted to spend my time with her and turned my back. He kept standing there, trying to talk to me. I again, but more firmly, told him I wasn't interested - he stayed. He orders another drink and the bartender serves him - all the way at the other end of the bar. Actually showed him his drink and said it will be over here and walked it as far away from us as he could. I thought that was brilliant - he got a very very good tip from us.
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Went to a pretty cool dive bar and they had a secret drink posted in the bathrooms and at the bottom of the appetizer section of the menu was one of those 5 digit numbers you text, put bar seat # in text. All seats pool tables and even booths were numbered. I thought that was a nice touch just in case someone knew the drink.
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