What do you always somehow attract?
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Gnats. It's gotta be a pheromone thing. My ex-wife thought I was exaggerating but one time in the summer I made a point to convince her. I had us both take a shower, get dressed, and then go for a walk in a nearby park without bug spray. And almost instantly, gnats in my face. Of course I'm swatting at them, trying to wave them out of my face, but you can never really see someone else's gnat cloud....until the sunlight hits them just right. I was in front of a dark wood fence and the sunlight hit the gnat cloud, making them light up like stars against the dark background. Her jaw dropped and she was like oh my god, you're right! Even if I use Deet, that only reduces them. It doesn't eliminate them. The one thing I've found that successfully repels all bugs is horse liniment. It burns when you rub it into your face, and it doesn't last terribly long, but man it sure is nice being able to breathe outside for 5 minutes without hacking and spitting out gnats.
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REKLAM
Old ladies. They really like me. Oh, and cats. I like being a cat whisperer, old ladies are way more likely to miss social ques on when I'm done. At least they don't follow me down the street.
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Crazy. Most of my girlfriends were bat shit crazy and most of my female friends are insane. Like legitimately crazy
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Cars in parking lots. I'll find an empty parking space away from anyone else and still end up with someone parked right next to me, and I can't understand why.
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Idiots and assholes. I'm often the guy who gets attacked or argued with over mundane stuff. Doesn't help they come with groupies (they always need a crowd to look big). The people I run into are why murder exists....
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People with all kinds of mental ilnesses. Most of them are fine, but once in a while someone will try to fuck my life up and succeed at that even.
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Idiots or lazy people who don't want to do the thing that they wanted to do in the first place. And flakes. If I was a hermit and had the means to be one, it would be extremely easy for me to deal with being alone. Edit: Also people with extreme mental problems that inevitably drag me down with them.
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