Just got a memo regarding a 5 hour open bar for the company holiday party. What's your most ridiculous alcohol related work story?
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Long story short, I was dating my manager and we both kept it secret until we left the company. Towards the last couple weeks I had the job, a couple women we were friends with found out. The four of us went out for dinner, then a bar, then one girl's house. My boyfriend puked all over himself, stripped naked- at this point I passed out. The two co-workers had to take care of my naked boyfriend. I woke up on the floor, crawled to the couch. Sometime later, my co-worker is running around, saying she's two hours late to work. Our boss had her address in her GPS and was about to leave to make sure she was okay (none of us had ever done anything like this- late meant something was wrong). She threw the towels and the plastic hamper away that she used to clean up the vomit. We gave her a $50 gift card to Target to get new towels, and the two women were true to their word and didn't tell anyone... until we both had left that job.
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So for my birthday, my wife came to my work place surprising me with a ton of balloons, 6 dozen cupcakes for me and my co workers and a bottle of patron. I had shots with all my coworkers, followed up with cupcakes at 10 am, with most of us drinking too much before lunch. We invited our CTO to take shots with us, but he had too many meetings that day. A few of us were at the very least, tipsy before it hit 10:30 am. No one in our company even blinked at this.
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After a Christmas party at a vineyard I chugged about half a bottle of wine then blacked out. I ended up getting us kicked out of a bar because I spilt someone else drink when I asked to see what it tasted like (I had been doing that a lot). I then got the wrong ferry home and had to run for about 30 minutes before my girlfriend picked me up.
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Yeah I possibly have the best story ever for this. I used to work for a company that will remain nameless. We had a happy hour for hitting our monthly goal. It's a pretty young crowd/young manager, and needless to say the happy hour turned in to a happy 4 hours. One of my co-workers got so drunk he pissed under the table on the kid sitting across from him. A fight ensued. He miraculously didn't get fired, and actually got promoted a few months later. Good times!
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"Got drunk at a company Christmas party and called one of the owners, "little hitler." Her husband was a triple degree black belt in karate or something and tried to fight me. I think I was 20 at the time. Another company Christmas party, (different company) some employee got caught giving another employee a blowjob in the bathroom of the bar. "
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Whatever. You've clearly never drank with radio people.
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"I had a friend who was a corporate buyer for whole foods. Basically, all of these organic food companies would send him cases of their products to test out and he would make recommendations on what to stock and where to stock it-- also collecting an 80k salary to do this. One holiday season Whole Foods management had a lot of the higher-up office type employees flown out to San Francisco, where they rented out a giant hotel and had a bunch of events, all food and booze provided. This kid got so smashed that he ended up getting into a "somewhat serious" altercation with a hotel security guard and got arrested for assault at the company function in front of EVERYONE. Needless to say, he didn't have a job for too much longer. "
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You are better off not getting drunk in a work environment. It can only lead to bad decisions on your part and it will make you look bad in front of your bosses. Get drunk later. Buy yourself a 12 pack it will be worth it. I have seen people throwing up, hooking up (not with own spouse) and failing to proposition people.
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Not for my staff party, but for my friends. She is a girl, I'm a boy. She asked me to accompany her to her staff party. Sure no problem. I thought it would be fun. Well she got extremely sloshed and proceeded to whore herself to pretty much anyone with a dick. It was so bad that some people at my table were just shaking there head at her and looking at me like I was her boyfriend and what was I gonna do about it. It got so bad that at one point she was surrounded by about 5 guys and saying she would fuck the guy to buy her the most booze. Well I got tired of it pretty quick and told her I was leaving. She tried to get me to stay but fuck that I was outta there. Called up my buddy and we went back to my place to smoke weed and so I could tell him about that night. After that night I decided that I would no longer invite to her any type of setting where I required a date.
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Christmas party with an open bar at a large automotive company. Labour relations guy (a total suit) sitting in the snug getting blitzed. Next to him, a union official. Maudlin sentimental conversation turns into an argument, which turns into a pushing match. The labour rep stands up, takes a mighty swing at the union guy. Union guy ducks haymaker connects solidly with the union guy's wife, who's sitting on the other side of him. Knocks her flat on her backside, and she's spitting blood. Most of the union brothers take one look and come after the labour relations guy, who's too drunk to run in a straight line and manages to bounce himself right off a pool table. Everybody piles on. Shortly thereafter, the cops arrive. Strangely enough, it was the very last company sponsored Christmas party.
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