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As you get older, you're just less likely to be open like you were when you were young. We get conditioned that we can't just trust any ol' stranger. The world is dangerous! What if they have weird hobbies? What if they think I have weird hobbies? It's a little different than dating since a friendship can end more abruptly than a relationship just because they don't like you all of a sudden. It's more acceptable to not put as much effort to hanging out with someone than when you're each other's SO. The benefit of doubt is sometimes reserved for people who they know very closely. It's the worst thing ever because you do it too. You would LOVE to get new friends, but then you have to find someone who is open enough for that while being open yourself. My friend is really good at making friends wherever she goes. She let's people know about some intimate details even though she just met them. It lowers their guard, and they usually reciprocate with the openness.
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REKLAM
Do people actually pick up members of the opposite sex at a grocery store or coffee shop or whatever? Maybe this sounds terribly naive, and honestly I know better than to base certain ideas on the media. I wouldn't consider myself socially inept or anything, just kind of stuck in a rut with the same friends for many years. But watching Seinfeld or a movie or something, I get the impression that, as a young urban professional, I should be having new friends and girlfriends that I meet in chance encounters every single week. Do people actually do that? Like, am I meant to say something clever to a stranger, and she just finds it so witty that we start sleeping together?
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I have lunch buddies at work. Like on Monday's I'll walk by Jordan's desk and ask if he wants to go get some tacos. On Tuesday I'll walk by Jake's desk and ask if he wants to go get pizza. On Friday I'll try to get Jake and Jordan both to go to lunch with me. And Saturday night we're all meeting up at the bar for beers. Seems to work pretty well. Done that a couple times. I'm pretty awkward, but that has worked well in the past.
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Almost all my mine and my wife friends we have met in Crossfit. Im not trying to push crossfit on you but think about what kind of people you want to be friends with and then join a group or class. The old city I use to live in I made a bunch of friends from a jiu jitsu class. If you want something more laid back look into taking a cool night class at a community college.
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don't know man, how did you make friends as a kid? I never did figure that out, probably require you to leave your house once in a while I guess. Maybe that's my problem.
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you dont. everyone who tries to be your 'friend' as an adult is really just trying to sell you something/gain some kind of advantage over you. stick with the crew you got as a teenager
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I honestly don't know. I made a lot of cruddy friends as an adult. Users, liars, backstabbers, thieves, drunks, etc. So, I pretty much gave up on friends. It would be nice to actually have at least ONE great friend but so far no luck.
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I'm 70 years old and I'm still trying to figure that out. lol
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Using your kid as a source of friends. Edit: phone acted up before I could finish typing out.
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Hang out at your friendly neighborhood bar. Talk to people. Drink. Repeat next day. Soon you will know the whole neighborhood. You may also be an alcoholic, but that's neither here nor there.
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