Americans from the Northeast, whose accents sound like a goose being assaulted with a bicycle horn, why do you mock the Southern accent, which sounds like sunlight meadows?

Omgeez you are going to make so many people mad! I have a ton of clients from both these regions and lemme just dispel that notion that either of you are easily understood by the uninitiated among us. What you southerners think sounds lyrical comes across more Foghorn Leghorn, while the northeastern folks tend to seem reluctant to fully pronounce any word in its entirety. You get the first half or so and then it just trails off into a vocal medley of sounds. Like word jazz. That being said, I wouldn't change a thing and you are all wonderful and amazing humans! Happy Holidays you filthy animals!