ors that have been previous domestic abusers. What was the moment that made you see yourself for what you were and what were the steps you took towards self-improvement?
REKLAM
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"There was a widely circulated Facebook post along these lines recently, of a guy who was married and never saw himself as an abuser. He'd get angry and break things, punch walls, etc but always prided himself on "i'd never hurt my wife". What changed him was someone pointing out that his conduct was abusive and violent even if he'd never actually crossed the line of hitting her. He'd never thought of it that way and was determined to improve, so he apologized unreservedly to his wife and started anger management classes. As an outsider hearing this, the key moment to me seems to be the point at which his friend convinced him that the "line in the sand" he had drawn was in an unacceptable place. "
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REKLAM
Were you seriously thinking anyone who was an actual abuser was just going to out themselves, or that it wouldn't just be people lying?
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When I was in high school I had girlfriend who I'd inflict pain on whenever she didn't do what I told her to do or was being annoying. It took my uncle to randomly tell us(all my male cousins) that men in our family don't hit women, this was after I had broken my girlfriend's wrist one time when I twisted it too hard... I then realized what I was doing was wrong & have never laid a finger on a woman since. Thinking about it now I feel bad that I never apologized to her, I was already at that stage where I'd convince her it's her fault I'm hurting her.
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"One of the classic warning signs of a DV abuser is that they won't accept being wrong and shift the blame. It's one of the reasons they rarely change. If any do post here I'd expect them to be: 1) Claiming severe provocation and saying it only happened once and was due to poor MH and/or substances 2) Claiming they were really the victim 3) Minimising in some way. They'll tell part of the story but not all to make themselves believable eg admit "I slapped her" and neglect to mention throwing her to the floor. They'll claim it was mutually abusive etc. Source: years working in the field. "
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Better hope this doesn't gain traction. Just as bad as the ask a rapist thread. Don't give these people a platform.
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I don't think any of the abusers want to lose their karma today
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