What kind of teenage bullshit probably happened at Hogwarts that wasn’t mentioned in the Harry Potter books?

Question

Yvonne Himmel · Accepted Answer

There are just too many ways that the Polyjuice potion can be exploited. Alice hates Sarah, so Alice makes a Polyjuice potion of Sarah, pretends to be her and does any numerable amounts of things to mess up her life, from trying to break up her friendships, doing someting humiliating in public, to cheating on her boyfriend. Eric has a massive crush on Alice but she's dating Andrew, Eric makes a Polyjuice potion of Andrew and has sex with Alice. Eric wants to know what Alice looks like naked, makes a Polyjuice potion of Alice, now not only can he see her naked but he can also make personalised pornography of her for himself later. Going less sexual, Tina wants to steal something but obviously shes not going to do it as herself. Shes going to find someone she doesn't like/knows isn't popular and the authorities will believe that they did it not Tina. Tina goes on a crime spree Rob gets kicked out of Hogwarts and goes to jail.

Daffi · Answer

It was basically Porky's in a high-fantasy setting.

Emil · Answer

Magical wanking. You just know there's a spell for that.

Adrian · Answer

A lot of these answers are about sex, but when I was a teenager, I remember trying to do all sorts of things just to be extreme. Imagine potions so you stay up for a month straight, or distending your belly with magic so you could gulp down gallons of butterbeer, or trying to see what the ceiling of a broom ride is. I picture that sort of stuff happens alongside vanishing nightly... ahem messes.

pil · Answer

So much kinky magical sex, masturbation, and practical jokes. Penis Eruptus on your friend in class. Endless Orgasmus! when you're alone. Shit like that.

Selen · Answer

See, this is the kind of stuff I want Rowling to clarify.

Marina Faust · Answer

"Any other fanfic readers in this thread scrolling through these comments and thinking, "I've read that one, and that one, and that one..."? "

Anne-Marja · Answer

Harry Potter and the Little Death.

Soraja · Answer

Girls enjoying riding broomsticks.  A severe misuse of Levicorpus (but that was kind of talked about).

Hendrik · Answer

Smoking bud in the Astronomy Tower

Etti · Answer

Girl students can just blatantly steal from boy students since there's nothing stopping girls from just walking into boy dormitories. The students are grouped by years and have classes in those groups, so an older or younger student would be free to just stroll on in while they're off in potions and filch shit.

Kaitlin · Answer

I once read a fanfiction about Hermione having the best sex of her life, the punchline was that she was using the time turner to do it to herself...

Claudia Fuhrmann · Answer

Teenage boys trying to use spells and potions to make their penis bigger and ending up having to go to the Hospital Wing.

Marcellus · Answer

I stand by the fact at least one muggleborn teenager has probably tried to fuck the giant squid

Stephanie Mahler · Answer

Freaking memory charms were not considered to be unforgivable. You could blow away an entire human and not be tried as having killed anyone. Lockheart was almost certainly a rapist and a murderer from the perspective of what mind makes a human.

Chrisy · Answer

Love potions nonchalantly used as either retaliation or to simulate reciprocated feelings. They basically constitute as rescinding consent when imbibed and have disconcerting implications that facilitate rape. It's not implausible to believe Voldemort's mother raped his muggle father who was under the influence of her love potion  he's incapacitated and unable to consent.  Yet they're distributed by joke shops as a frivolity! Even brewed by the Potions master to exhibit his proficiency! The effect may only last a few minutes but that is sufficient time to take advantage of someone with an induced compliance. Look at Ron's reaction. Had Romilda vane demanded to have sex with him, he'd have complied immedately.  Love potions in the hands of teeangers? You know what would happen.

Lea Adler · Answer

Don't its J.K. Rowlings secret account. She is going to use all these answers in a twitter thread in a couple of days.

Thorild · Answer

Neville was everyone's drug dealer, he just used too much of his own supply all the damn time.

Nelli · Answer

so many teenage boys being hit with the aguamenti spell because they are refusing to take a shower (I can kinda see why if you have some perverted ghost living in the showers and bathrooms creeping)

Ozzie · Answer

Fetus deletus

Katja Boehm · Answer

Finding a really hot picture and jerking off to it, but the person in the picture can see them and cant do nothin about it.

Ishrat · Answer

I have two headcannons. One, there was definitely a kid that smuggled muggle paraphernalia into the school. Like a cell phone or a gameboy. And two, kids for sure smoked magic weed.

Michelle Fuchs · Answer

Pooping on the floor and disappearing it.

Chanpen · Answer

lots of bullying... can you imagine what would cliques of teen girls do to each other if they had magic wands at their disposal?

Meg · Answer

Pretty much everything in the TV series, The Magicians.

Stanny · Answer

Voyeurism involving the paintings on the walls.

SHAUNNA · Answer

I always thought wizard tattoos would be amazing. Moving works of art on you. I'd change them everyday.

Leah Fink · Answer

Wandalism

Carole · Answer

The implications around love potions and spells are disturbing to think about. Even the books touch on it a little bit with Voldemort's parents.

Freeman · Answer

So many pranks/harassment. When you can jinx somebody from across the room, and make them vomit slugs? That place would be packed full of asshole kids.

Marjariitta · Answer

I bet they had 1000 ways to cheat at everything. Senior prank day had to be amazing.

Jennifer Boehm · Answer

There was definitely a Hogwarts Fight Club. Not just the DA, which was more of a secret self defense class, but a legit, underground dueling club with betting and shit.

Nirmin · Answer

FUI Flying Under Influence

Rabi · Answer

I would say 'having sex in poorly concealed places during off hours', buuuut Snape finds a pair of kids in the 'snogging' in the bushes during the Yule Ball in Goblet of Fire and deducts, like, twenty points each.

Jodie · Answer

I always thought it make for a hilarious spinoff series if you followed class mates of Potter's who were just getting high, getting in trouble, and thought potter and the other main characters were nerds

nuray · Answer

Breakups via howler in the dining hall

farzaneh · Answer

It was during the 90's. Probably a wizard tried to create a Pokemon.

Dewey · Answer

You know every year there was that student who refused to follow dress code.  Full length robe.. don't shame me... I am going thigh length. Wizard hat on sideways.

zuzana · Answer

"It's a school with a hundred "empty classrooms" and abandoned spaces with hundreds of horny teens running around. I want to know more about wizard birth control. They've gotta have better shit than we do. "

DENEEN · Answer

"What exactly was Aberforth doing with those goats? "Inappropriate charms" can mean quite a few things. "

Rayshell · Answer

The Engorgio charm. Either on boobs, asses, or dicks.   EDIT: Holy macaroni, first gold, silver, and post with over 1k upvotes!! Thank you, you kind, salacious internet strangers!

SHANTELL · Answer

Given that children as young as 11 are given wands and potion ingredients, there have to be just... SO many weird genital injuries that Madame Pomfrey has to deal with.

Gweneth · Answer

Lots of teenage sex and forbidden 'fetus deletus' coat hanger spells.

Alexander · Answer

There was definitely some jiggery pokery going on with chess

BRITTNY · Answer

"Well, if it's anything like many British upper crust private schools, probably a lot of homosexual experimentation. To quote the Lord Grantham character from Downton Abbey, "If I shouted blue murder every time someone tried to kiss me at Eton, I'd have gone hoarse in a month." "

zaynab · Answer

Using Umbridge's weird cutting curse to cut themselves while listening to My Potion Romance.

Virgilio · Answer

Catching teachers having sex. They live in the castle all year long, teachers having tons of sex.

Phaedra · Answer

Not sure this username would ever be relevant...

Sari-Maarit · Answer

Wizard drugs.

Gates · Answer

"Wild parties where people use magic to "undrunk" themselves so they can drink even more and the insanity that ensues when those spells go wrong.  "

Averil · Answer

More student deaths, lots more. You have a bunch of idiot kids running around with literal weapons of mass destruction in their back pockets, with seemingly no jinx active to prevent certain spells.

Kingston · Answer

Somebody boned Moaning Myrtle.

Andrea Drechsler · Answer

"Viktor Krum telling his friends: "You wouldn't know her, she goes to a different School." "

Tale · Answer

Couples making an unbreakable vow to stay together and then either being miserable their entire lives or dying 6 months later.

What kind of teenage bullshit probably happened at Hogwarts that wasn’t mentioned in the Harry Potter books?

Blakelee

Cesya

Chantal

Clare

Jean

Johnette

Lucila

Madelin

Noell

Rayshell